26 I 09 I 26
It took me more than a year to survive, heal and finally talk about the living hell I went through.
I'm truly sorry for having disappeared from the face of the earth — and I owe you an explanation. However, I'm not looking for anyone's attention or pity. I'm merely going to tell you a story — which, for a songwriter, is pretty much the job description.
The level of maliciousness and insanity I encountered in this story rivals any Netflix documentary. Nothing and no one has ever come closer to killing me. It is the single most disturbing thing I've ever experienced.
I thought life had given me "The Notebook". Turns out it was "Gone Girl".
If 26 I 09 I 26 me told 21 I 11 I 21 me what he would go through in the next 1319 days and everything that happened after 02 I 07 I 25 — he'd think I had completely lost my mind.
I had never heard of covert or malignant narcissism. Psychopaths were serial killers in Hollywood movies to me. And if you had asked me on a quiz show what Machiavellianism is, I would have chosen C: An Italian Renaissance art movement.
Like everything else in this story, I never thought I'd experience anything remotely like what I did.
The charm is the mask. Nobody suspects the innocent angel with the curated WhatsApp status.
Looking back — all the unwanted, newfound expertise aside — the one thing I've realized is this: If you have to google someone's behavior to understand what the fuck is being done to you, that alone should tell you everything you need to know.
It is time for me to come back and turn the unfathomable grief, pain and trauma that I and others have been put through into what I've always loved the most: music.
A billion tears later, I'm still here. I've found myself again — and now, what nearly killed me will become a testament to the truth.
I'm deeply grateful to announce that my debut album is finally in production.
The places in these pictures represent this story. I went back to all of them. Not to relive them, but to take them back.
This is the first page of a brand-new chapter.
Page 2 coming soon.
Photos by Tommy Koch
